Guess what killer day caps off this week? Oh yeah, baby. Friday the 13th!

It’s time to channel my dark lover, Jason Voorhees, and do up the day right. Oh, daddy!

Paramount is honoring this special time on the calendar with a whole slew of deluxe edition versions of the “Friday the 13th” series.

Old skool traditionalist that I am, I thought I’d go back to the very beginning with the original uncut and unrated slasher masterpiece.

Okay, so Jason is way too young to be my dark lover in this one. But, what a mighty fine specimen of undead manhood he’ll become in countless sequels.

There’s a certain simplicity to the original “Friday the 13th” that is understated in modern gorefests. There are no complex murders or tortures as in the “Saw” series. Director Sean Cunningham just plays it straight. Sexually aroused young adults enter the woods, there’s a storm, they get separated, they die. Bladed weapons are all it takes. No frills. No heavy plot lines. Light sex and yesteryear’s cutting-edge blood and gore.

You get Kevin Bacon and perhaps a loose foot. You get ample homage to “Psycho” with violins and a certain kind of role-playing psychopath. You get the desire to go back to a distant time called 1980 where dinner at a diner costs $2.25, cars conveniently don’t start when a killer is on the loose, you don’t have to worry about AIDs, the crazy old man in town is helpful–if not kooky–, and no one has a cell phone to call for help. It is amazing anyone survived back then.

Oh, and how many times do you have to knock a killer unconscious before you get the bright idea to keep bashing in their head to prevent them from chasing you because they are DEAD? Just wondering.

That’s not a knock against this film. I think it is a legit question with practical merit in our modern society. I wanna know…just in case.

“Friday the 13th” is a classic that cannot be denied. With added featurettes and tons of commentary, you’ll have a scream! (If you get “Part 3-D” you also get 3-D glasses to go with it!)

Now remember, this year we’re blessed with these special Fridays in February, March and November. So if you find yourself trapped in a kitchen with a homicidal maniac, for the love of God, don’t throw tea bags and match books at him. Pick up a knife, and show him what he’s made of.